Romance Novels

#Reviews

Recently Rented Reviews: Goth Minister on Mamma Mia

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(This is the second entry in a new feature where I review things I’ve recently rented, regardless of their actual release date, because I don’t care about timeliness or America or the future of cinema or whatever.  Today’s review is […]

#Fiction

The Bandit’s Cousin

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The bandit’s cousin was beautiful, and because of this he carried no money in his pockets.  Women liked to buy him things, and men were afraid of his cousin.  He did whatever he wanted to, and he thought that he […]

#Fiction

The Dogs Are In The Pasture; The Cows Are Crowing Home

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The types of secrets that characters in novels have can be grouped into a few general categories.  These are the categories: 1.  “I committed a crime!” 2.  “I’m having an affair!” 3.  “Your mom/dad/mentor/hero is fallible/mortal!” 4.  “I’m actually a […]

#Fiction

The Sheriff Who Loved Captains

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He loved men, although upon consideration, he didn’t really like them much.  He just liked their high white asses, their talk of the sea, their rotting teeth. Tweet

#Fiction #News

God and Emerson

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Me and Dick Cheney are kneeling in a clearing, shanks touching, souls ajar. Does afar a bobwhite whistle? Yes. Tweet

#Fiction

Ravenous

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The vainest foundling in the orphanage was undoubtedly Nellie Bly.  She had bumpy skin like cream, and she drank cream constantly to remind herself of her own skin.  She called this “paying tribute.” Tweet

#Essays #Fiction

The Passion of Planks

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I kind of find planks romantic, in that I don’t really understand where they come from, and this lends them an air of mystery.  Whenever I see one, I try to smell it, because I am hoping that it smells […]