Tag Archives: Romance Novels

Recently Rented Reviews: Goth Minister on Mamma Mia

(This is the second entry in a new feature where I review things I’ve recently rented, regardless of their actual release date, because I don’t care about timeliness or America or the future of cinema or whatever.  Today’s review is by guest columnist GOTH MINISTER.) I HabE SEEN A MUveeeeeeee.  It is quite a movie …

The Bandit’s Cousin

The bandit’s cousin was beautiful, and because of this he carried no money in his pockets.  Women liked to buy him things, and men were afraid of his cousin.  He did whatever he wanted to, and he thought that he was cool.

The Dogs Are In The Pasture; The Cows Are Crowing Home

The types of secrets that characters in novels have can be grouped into a few general categories.  These are the categories: 1.  “I committed a crime!” 2.  “I’m having an affair!” 3.  “Your mom/dad/mentor/hero is fallible/mortal!” 4.  “I’m actually a great person!  And I’m in love with you!” The last category of secret is usually …

(For Will Oldham)

Darren made his mouth hot with breath and it was so hot.  The Mountain could not believe how hot it was and it made him a little uncomfortable, or maybe just curious.  “Mountain I am not going to put my hot mouth near you.” “OK.”

Ravenous

The vainest foundling in the orphanage was undoubtedly Nellie Bly.  She had bumpy skin like cream, and she drank cream constantly to remind herself of her own skin.  She called this “paying tribute.”