Kitten

#Essays

The Top Ten Reactionary LOLCats You Meet In Heaven

0

1.  Cats who refuse to believe that they originated in Egypt.  Instead they like to think that they came from AMERICA, like Mormons with Jesus: 2.  Sad cats who resist their essential Enneagram nature: 3.  Cats who think that paying […]

#Fiction

The Boy Then Turned, and Flew South

0

There was once a boy with monsters for hands.  One monster was a little ectoplasm blob which was covered with mouths, constantly eating.  The boy had to keep this hand gloved, or else he could not type or hold things, […]

#Fiction

There are 5 Things

0

1.  The music is cold, the burn victim said.  “That’s because you’re not sweating to the oldies!” Tweet

#Fiction

Things of Beauty, Things of Shame

0

The little stone house had chinks stuffed with ivy, which Susan kept trimmed, like pubes.  The cat liked to rub against these trim thickets, especially with his butt, which had itchy glands.  It was a hell of a life, for […]

#Fiction #Reviews

Sometimes Nursing is Not An Effective Mode of Birth Control

0

. . . and then his friend Sir Hugh, who is cool and also totally in love with you, makes an “offer” on you to St. John, even though you have the twins plus your baby that you are still nursing as a form of birth control, and it makes St. John realize that he loves you, which is good, except for a couple weeks ago your hot cousin Rane came back and asked you to marry him, not realizing that even though you are sixteen you have three kids and a disabled husband, but St. John was still sucking at this point and you’ve always loved Rane anyway, so you start doing it in the woods all the time and somehow your grandma knows, which is weird, and Rane teaches you how to have orgasms, which is great when he goes away and St. John is in love with you, because then you take that knowledge and use it to have orgasmy one-arm sex with St. John, but guess what! you’re preggo . . .