You know what this horse is wishing? It's pretty obvious.

Horses can’t come, but sharks can come.  They come in the water and laugh and laugh because of the cum bubbles it generates and how the little seahorses dance in between the bubbles, singing a little song of being a horse of the sea, a horse that can never, ever ride in the Kentucky Derby no matter how fast they are.  But one seahorse did get to do it; it trained a lot and got caught by a fisherman on purpose and then leaped into a glass of water. The water was deionized, which helped to make the seahorse immortal.  The other thing that helped him was knowing that effort really pays off and to never quit trying and how to sew and how to eat food gracefully and who his ancestors were.  These things combined to make to seahorse both immortal and charming, like a goldfish.  And so the seahorse charmed the child of the captain of the fisherman’s boat, and so it was that he made his way to America, where he lived with other Jews of similar extraction in a dank little building redolent of Minsk and sauercraut, and it was here that he first really learned to appreciate the writings of Isaac Bashevis Singer, not to mention his brother I.B. Singer, but also that the promises of solitude are frequently broken.

Object 'o' Passion

But eventually the seahorse had to go south, to the South, and so he packed a carpet bag with crabbed writings and kimchee, and hopped a handy train – one that he found at a trainyard!  He liked to look at the dust in the fields that he could see pass by the train, and also at the dogs that were in the traincars.  He got off in Alabama, as he mistook it for Kentucky.  Who among us could blame him?  He could not believe the humid atmosphere.

So the seahorse had thought that his passion was racing, but it turned out that what he really liked was Yiddish community theatre.  And he’d been pursuing his dream, but along the way dreams found him?  He’d never dreamed how different he could be from himself, and his ideas of himself.  He still did not know himself, other than as a creature that loved to look at dogs and dreamed (sweatily) of being a larger horse.  It is natural to want to be larger, and even moral, but horses are vain.  So when he got to the Kentucky Derby, and saw all the hats and white clothes, he was not really as excited as he had imagined himself being in the past.  He was not even happy about being immortal!  But he loved to see all the shrimp on platters at the galas, because he hated shrimp passionately. He even tried to eat one, hard.

Exhibit A: Douches at a gala, longing for shrimp

Bookmark/share