A List of Things I Learned on My Trip to Olympia
1. “My girlfriend can’t believe that I’m still on the bus. I mean, she thinks I’m lying about the bus.”
Something I will nevva evva evva do again.
2. “Christopher Walken, I mean – Willem Dafoe?”
Delicioso!
3. “We were talking about our business for a long time . . . but it was all mental. We would look at office furniture catalogues, though. We had it all in our minds.”
MIND FURNITURE
4. “I’m going to have to use these shallots, even if they are contaminated.”
Long tasty long & tasties
5. “Are those people . . . not uptight, or something?”
Fig 1: People Who Are Not Uptight
6. “Let’s jump in a puddle! Yeah, great! Chumps.”
Fig. 2: Chump
7. “My ex-girlfriend took all my money last September.”
That's an ex-girlfriend, by cracky
8. “My bus was delayed for, like, five hours, because they had to take the tires off. (Bitch.)”
They can take my tires off any time they want to
9. “Those ocelots don’t have anyone to mate with.”
Quit stalking things already
Leave a Response
You must be logged in to post a comment.
