Sometimes Nursing is Not An Effective Mode of Birth Control

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. . . and then his friend Sir Hugh, who is cool and also totally in love with you, makes an “offer” on you to St. John, even though you have the twins plus your baby that you are still nursing as a form of birth control, and it makes St. John realize that he loves you, which is good, except for a couple weeks ago your hot cousin Rane came back and asked you to marry him, not realizing that even though you are sixteen you have three kids and a disabled husband, but St. John was still sucking at this point and you’ve always loved Rane anyway, so you start doing it in the woods all the time and somehow your grandma knows, which is weird, and Rane teaches you how to have orgasms, which is great when he goes away and St. John is in love with you, because then you take that knowledge and use it to have orgasmy one-arm sex with St. John, but guess what! you’re preggo . . .

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