Food/Craft

How to Hack Thanksgiving

First of all, quit trying to hack things, weirdo.  You can’t hack a holiday or a life or your mom or nothing, I don’t care what Slate told you.  But I do have some Thanksgiving tips! Thanksgiving is not that hard of a holiday.  All it is about is eating food and watching football.  There …

How to Trick People into Thinking You Are Good at Wine

There are a small number of situations in which it might behoove you to pretend to be good at wine. These are the situations:

1. You are on a date with a man or lady and you want them to think you are “discerning” even though you are not discerning and you want them to think you are “sensual” even though you are not sensual . . .

A Roasted Chicken

Everybody at the roast was fond of the chicken, and this infused their subsequent ribbing of him with an inclusive sort of glee – all the jokes were inside jokes, culled from a lifetime of  “good times had by all.”  They would say, “He isn’t very good at golf, is he?” and everyone would laugh …

A Fool of God

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who liked to cook.  The other children at school liked to eat: crumbled raw Top Ramen, Lunchables, candy, and Capri Suns.  But this little boy, whose name was Bobby, would spend hours pounding galangal and ginger in his mortar and pestle in order to create the …